Living.

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Thu, 16 May 2013 11:21:02 -0400

Thu, 16 May 2013 10:56:07 -0400

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Thu, 02 May 2013 11:49:13 -0400

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Thu, 02 May 2013 11:47:21 -0400

The Truth About Sadness

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 09:04:39 -0400

A lt of times people think that time with take pain and sadness away. In my case, it makes it worse. I’m a dweller and a worrier. I dwell on things that hurt me and I worry them to death.

This morning I crawled in the shower, hoping to wash some of the sadness and hurt away. I expected to the red, black, blue, brown colors run off of my body and into the drain. I didn’t. But I saw how the blistering hot water ran down my cold, broken, vulnerable, naked body and I broke down.

I have been so sad for so long. Which to some may be surprising considering I “have nothing to be sad about” when in fact, I have much to be sad for. SO much change and so many battles I’ve fought my way through in the past year have torn me down, taken so much away from me. I lost weight, I lost strength.

As I broke down on the floor of my shower, in the bottom of my bathtub, a raw, animalistic cry escaped from my lips. This was not me. This was my heart in it’s own sadness telling me that it hurt, I hurt. I laid down on my side, the way I do when I sleep, and I let the hot water caress and cover my body like a security blanket. But still, it did no good.

I was shaking and cold and hurt. This shower wasn’t helping. I was hurting and I was alone and the only person who makes me feel no so alone in the hurtful world is the one who hurt me. I had no one to go to. My friends are trying to help, but I don’t know how to let them help me. I don’t know what to do.

I’m hurting. And I’m sad. And I’m broken.

And no one seems to care.

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Tue, 30 Apr 2013 08:55:06 -0400

please love me forever? you are all that I want, all that I...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 00:49:22 -0400

please love me forever? you are all that I want, all that I need.

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Tue, 16 Apr 2013 22:36:38 -0400

What am I going to do when you’re gone? Everyone is leaving me. I am so lonely. I am so sad.

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 16:31:46 -0400

What am I going to do when you’re gone?

Everyone is leaving me.

I am so lonely.

I am so sad.

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Wed, 27 Mar 2013 16:05:14 -0400

actonyourwishes: Wow. This is soooo me. Preach.

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 15:58:52 -0400

actonyourwishes:

Wow. This is soooo me.

Preach.

i have never been more proud in my life. or excited or happy or joyous. or scared. we sat there,...

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 13:58:52 -0400

i have never been more proud in my life. or excited or happy or joyous.

or scared. we sat there, crying in each others arms, on my kitchen floor. i promised myself that i wouldn’t cry, telling myself you didn’t deserve that. but, low and behold, i cried. and you were there. and your arms were around me. and we wiped away each others tears and gave each other kisses and held each other fast and close.

you make me so happy and so proud and so excited and so overjoyed and so scared. you are my everything and my one and only and i swear i wont let anything beat us.

i love you and i love you and i love you and i love you and i love you and i love you and i lvoe you and i love you and i love you and i love you.

i can feel that you’re hurting and all i want you to know is that i love you and ill save you...

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 22:02:20 -0500

i can feel that you’re hurting and all i want you to know is that i love you and ill save you from this terrible place with these terrible things from these terrible people because i love you.

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Wed, 06 Mar 2013 08:12:33 -0500

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Wed, 06 Mar 2013 08:03:13 -0500

my-teen-quote: This is the official ‘i care’ symbol. This is...

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 18:43:56 -0500

my-teen-quote:

This is the official ‘i care’ symbol. This is how it works:
Basically you reblog this, and your followers know that you care and that they can message you about anything anon or not and you will reply back or at least look at their message. If you care about your followers please reblog. ——> this blog is inspirational

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Tue, 05 Mar 2013 18:41:49 -0500

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Sun, 03 Mar 2013 22:35:59 -0500

and all i hope is that im making your life beautiful and worth living.

Thu, 21 Feb 2013 10:51:50 -0500

and all i hope is that im making your life beautiful and worth living.

i just want a hug. thats all.

Tue, 19 Feb 2013 21:54:31 -0500

i just want a hug. thats all.